THE JACKET

 

THE JACKET

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever."  1 Chronicles 16:34

As many of you are aware, I am part of a local women's ministry in my hometown called Peace Restored.  I have the privilege to be the Young Widow's Club Coordinator for the past five years.  In the past five years I have seen our organization grow; even through the challenges of Covid 19.  Our group has grown from 1 in October 2017 to 35 on paper today.  God has been so good to the organization and to our group.  We always say we are in a group that we don't want to be a part of, but are so blessed to have each other.  

This year we were blessed to be able to have our annual gala as our major fundraiser.  Since we are a non for profit, we must raise funds by fundraisers, donations, and grants.  Covid put a stop to our gala for 2020 and 2021, but God made a way for us to be able to host a beautiful evening of generosity, compassion, and glitter.  Yes, it was semi formal so many of us were dressed in beautiful dresses and black ties.  

As the date grew closer, we were blessed to have one gentleman donate a whole table so several of the ladies from the group were able to attend the gala at no cost to them.  Since we have many ladies in the group, I decided to do a birthday fundraiser on Facebook so that I could try to raise enough funds for a second table so more of the ladies would be able to attend.  God worked on several hearts and through His grace, we were able to fund a complete second table for the group.  After we sat and invited the ladies to the gala at no cost to them, they were able to start planning their outfits for the evening.  It was such a blessing to hear them talk about their plans and to see pictures of their dresses.  Seeing their smiles and excitement was such a blessing.

During this time, my daughter had asked about flannel shirts that Kirk would wear almost year round. I had packed away all of Kirk's shirts, jeans, and other clothing in two totes a few months after he had passed.  I then put them away in a shed in our backyard.  We decided to get the totes so we could find his flannels but unfortunately, they were not in the totes.  As she unpacked the totes, she found his suit the he had bought for his grandmother's funeral in 2000.  She took the jacket out and handed it to me.  Instantly, I tried the on the jacket and asked how it looked.  Kirk was over 6 feet tall so the sleeves were too long for me. After talking to her for a couple of minutes, I decided that I would get it altered and wear it to the gala.  What better way to honor Kirk at a gala with my group of wisters attending with me.  I took the jacket to get altered and then off to the dry cleaners.  I was so excited to be able to wear his jacket.

Wearing this jacket meant so much to me.  Kirk was my best friend, the father of our beautiful daughter Emily, a wonder son and son in law.  He was such a great husband to me; the love of my life.  He meant so much to so many different people.  But most of all, he loved Jesus and was just a beautiful soul.  When we lost him in June 2011, our world stopped.  Life as we knew it was over.  The "normal" that we were accustomed to, it was long gone.  A new "normal" that we did not want, was inevitable.  Our world was torn apart and we did not know how it could, or ever would, be put back together.  We had to learn to surrender our entire lives to God.  We had to give up complete control, not that we ever had control, of everything to Him.  

Going through this journey, you learn of the many phases of the path.  When my walk started, I was told that I would get to a place of giving back and thankfulness.  In my mind I thought that my counselor was wrong. There was no way I would ever get to that place of being thankful? Thankful that my husband was gone?  Thankful that my daughter was left without her adoring daddy and I was left without the other half of my heart?  But as days, weeks, months and years ticked by, I found that she was right.  She was right about all of it; I did became thankful and wanted to turn around and help those ladies that were just starting their journeys.  

Now don't get me wrong, I was not thankful that Kirk was gone.  I did become thankful that I was able to have 23 wonderful years with him.  We dated for five years and had just celebrated our 18th anniversary right before he died.  I was so thankful that God gave me this gift of love, companionship, and parenthood with Kirk.  I am so thankful that we were blessed with Emily.  Not too many know that I had issues with conceiving so I always felt that Emily is my miracle baby.  God was so faithful with his blessings.  So many never marry or have children of their own.  There are so many people that are not close to their family, or don't have a family at all.  When I got to that place of thankfulness, the grief and sorrow that I carried around started to lift, even if just a bit.  Psalms 145:17 NIV says, "The Lord is righteous in all his ways and faithful in all he does."  God is faithful in everything.  You must believe this to keep on your healing path.  God is trustworthy and faithful.  

God never leaves us and is right with us every step.  When our grieving is such a heavy load; He is there.  When the sun shines on our faces and we start to put together several good days; God is there.  When we feel abandoned and feel like God has checked out on us; He is still there.  When we get inpatient and want to move forward with our life but we don't know where to begin; He is there right beside us.  He tells us in Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV, "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."  He is with us sisters.  Even when we cannot feel Him, we are the ones that have moved; not Him.  "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1: 17 NIV.  

With the holiday season a week and a half away, please remember all that God has told us.  I know it's hard, trust me it's an every day struggle for me.  I am not perfect and fall away from time to time.  We are human and it will happen and guess what?  God knows this already before we do fall away.  Read his Word and meditate on His promises.  Take time to think about the holidays and give yourself grace when you just don't think you can attend events or parties.  It's okay!!  Give yourself permission to have time and space.  But always remember, a thankful heart can never be downcast so if there is anything you can try to be thankful for; be thankful to God.  Just tell Him thank you for being beside you every day and holding you up when you can't go one more day.  Lean into Him and trust His plans for you.  

Seeing Kirk's jacket and having the honor of wearing it, it renewed my thankfulness.  I am so thankful for God to orchestrate our little lives that crashed into each other. Out of that fateful meeting, we were married and were blessed with a daughter that is beautiful inside and out and loves Jesus with her heart and soul.  With Kirk's loss, I am thankful God pointed me to a meeting with Ann from Peace Restored and we put together a group of widows that share grief, joy, love, and God.  God turned ashes to beauty in His time and for His glory and I am so THANKFUL He used me as His vessel.  

It's an honor to serve Him and to serve so many wonderful widows. They are such a blessing to me and if they just remember how much they bless me, my life will be complete when I am called Home.  

Thank you God!!!

Finding My Way

 

Luke 15:20 NIV, "So he got up and went to his father.  But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him."

This Saturday morning started off like all Saturday mornings.  I set my alarm to get up a little earlier so I could watch the US Women's National Soccer team play in the Olympics and also to get ready to go to an outing down in Nashville, Indiana.  I made my breakfast and took care of my dogs like I do every morning.  I have one small dog inside and the one pictured is outside most of the time.  Her name is Noodle and she is a rescue that we got as a puppy.  She is so sweet and loves to be loved.  She melts into you and loves attention as you can tell.  

I sat down to eat my breakfast and continue watching the game but I noticed that Noodle had not come up on the patio to eat her breakfast snacks.  At first I didn't think much about it but as the minutes ticked by, I decided to get up to investigate.  I stepped on the back patio and yelled for her but she did not show up.  I went through my service door in my garage and as I opened the door, I realized that the gate to my backyard was open.  I stood and recounted my steps from the night before and I was certain I closed the gate.  I ran into the house and looked at the history of my security camera and while I did not see Noodle, I did see another dog that was loose as he had a long rope of some kind trailing him.  I concluded he must have jumped up on my gate and opened it and Noodle seen this as a way to escape out of the yard.  I was devastated.  I changed my clothes and text my parents, they live down the street, and off I went to try and find her.  I live in the country so I have woods around my area and lots of other dogs.  This wasn't her first time of escaping and she has a route that she normally takes.  I started following the path that I thought she would take and checked in with my parents and some family members.  

As luck would have it, my cousin and her husband caught the culprit I seen on my camera.  I knew Noodle would not be too far in front of or behind the other dog.  I continued to drive around and I finally spotted her.  I stopped my car and jumped out to run out to her.  In the past she would normally take off the other way, but as I ran toward her and yelled her name she ran toward me and dropped at my feet.  I bent down and loved on her and told her I was so happy to find her and I could tell she was very happy to hear my voice and knew she would be safely home soon.  It did take me a little bit to get her home as she was exhausted, hungry, and thirsty from her journey outside the safety of her home.  I was so happy to get her back in the yard and thankful for my dad's help.  Noodle can be stubborn and frustrating.  But I was so thankful to get her home!!!  

After I got home and settled down from the morning adventure, the story of the prodigal son we can read in Luke 15:11-32 came to mind.  I won't type it all out as you can read it for yourself, but in the story a man has two sons and one of them decides he wants his inheritance early so he can leave his home and live a wild life.  But the son runs out of money and a famine strikes the land so he ends up working for a farmer and taking care of pigs.  He comes to his senses and realizes that he can go home and become a servant in his father's house because they are able to eat and have better living conditions than what he is experiencing out on his own. So he takes off to go home and in the meantime his father is out on the porch and is looking into the distance and he sees his son walking toward the house.  His father lifts up his robe and runs out to his son, back then it was not customary for Jewish men to do this, but he was so happy to see his son return home.  He meets his son on the road and hugs and kisses him and is so thankful he has returned. His son tells him he is sorry and that he wants to be a servant in his father's house, but this father says no we are going to throw you a party because my son is home!! What an incredible story.

Jesus tells us this story because that is a picture of what God does when we turn from sin and turn to Him.  In this story the son says in Luke 15:21 NIV, "The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you.  I am no longer worthy to be called your son."  It is so easy to feel unworthy of God's love isn't it?  It is easier to feel unworthy than to believe that God loves you regardless of what you have done and where you have been.  But Jesus is telling us in the story that is not the way it works.  God is waiting for us to turn from sin and to rely on Him and his mercy, grace, and salvation.  Jesus made a way for us to run home and to freely take the gift of salvation.  Romans 5:8 NIV tells us, "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this; While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."  

Every single one of us are that prodigal son running home into the arms of Jesus.  He is waiting on that road ready to greet each of us!!!  Our thirst can be satisfied in His living water only He can provide.  John 4:14 NIV says, "but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life."  Jesus grants us salvation, a Home, and the only water that can satisfy our thirst.  

Will you run home toward Jesus?  Will you accept his gift of salvation?  Have you already accepted His gift but are still thirsty because you haven't allowed yourself to taste the water only He can provide? Are you living an abundant life now and enjoying all that God has to offer while we are still here on Earth? 

I am so thankful Jesus told us this story so we can picture His heart for us!!!  I am so thankful that He led me to Noodle and helped us get her home safe and sound!!!  Will you allow Jesus to find you?  

MUSIC FOR THE SOUL

My love for music is something that I have never really talked about in my blogs.  I have been in love with music my entire life.  I grew up helping my mom clean the house as we listened to Elvis, Beatles, and any music that spanned the decades from the 50’s to the 70’s.  She would put an album on or turn on the radio as we would dust and sweep our house on Fridays.  A lot of my memories of my childhood revolved around music.  From cleaning the house with my mom to riding in my dad’s 57 Chevy as we would visit family and friends at the Dog and Suds on Saturday nights; priceless memories with great music.

My love of music went deeper as my teenage years were spent in the 80’s.  In my opinion it was the best decade for music.  I will admit I loved hair metal, and still do.  I would go out cruising with my cousins and friends as we blasted out favorite bands.  Life was carefree and the music was amazing.  Attending general admission concerts was a favorite past time for us. 

Music has helped me along the paths of my life.  Certain songs take me back to an exact moment of time that I will always associate the two as one.  There are bands that speak to me on a personal level that I must see live when they come to town.  Music helps heal my heart and soul.  There are songs that remind me so much of Kirk.  Kirk was a self-taught guitar player and was in a couple of bands in his younger years.  I loved listening to him play.  When he died, he left behind three guitars that are priceless to me and Emily.  They are such beautiful reminders of Kirk’s love for music and his legacy of being an incredible guitarist.

Music has also played a role in my relationship with God.  Christian music takes my love for God to a new level.  The worship music at my church feels like a full blown concert.  Our band is so incredible and the songs we sing speak to my soul.  There are so many that helped me along my Christian life as well as my widowhood journey.  One such song is called “How He Loves” by John Mark McMillan performed by David Crowder Band.  Here are some of the lyrics:

“And He is jealous for me. Love’s like a hurricane, I am a tree, Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.

When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory. And I realized just how beautiful  You are, and how great Your affections are for me. 

And Oh, how He loves us , oh Oh, how He loves us. How He loves us ohh..”

The song goes on to talk about God’s great love for us.  The lyrics remind us many times just how much He loves us.  This has to be one of my most favorite Christian songs and I wish our church would sing it more.  The lyrics speak to me and as tears rolls down my face, I raise my hand up in praise for my Lord and Savior; He does love us so!!!!

This weekend is Easter.  Easter is a celebration of Christ’s rescue plan for us fulfilled.  Christ came into this world as a humble baby, grew up as a faithful servant and Son of God, and fulfilled His mission by sacrificing His life on a wooden cross and resurrecting three days later!!!  He laid down His life for each of us.  When He was nailed to that cross, our sins were nailed with Him.  Isaiah 53:5 NIV says, “But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on Him, and by His wounds we are healed.”  Jesus paid it all!!!  He was beaten, mocked, spit upon, He was made to carry His cross to Golgotha and there His feet and hands were pierced with nails and they raised that cross so that He was suspended with His body weight hanging on those nails.  Can you imagine the pain and agony that had to be?  Imagine your body weight bearing down on those nails.  He did that for you and me!!!  In John 15:13 NIV Jesus tells us, “Greater love has no one than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”  Jesus loves us so much that He laid down His life so that we can be reconciled with Him.  He took on our sins, nailed each of them to His cross, and died in our place.  He fulfilled that promise on the third day, Easter Sunday, through His resurrection.  John 11:25 NIV Jesus is talking to Martha about His resurrection.  He says, “I am the resurrection and the life.  The one who believes in me will live, even though they die, and whoever lives by believing in me will never die.” And then he asked her, “Do you believe this?”  So I ask you..Do YOU believe this? 

I believe Jesus came to Earth on a rescue mission to save me from my own sins.  He tells us that to receive His gift of salvation all you have to do is believe in your heart and confess with your mouth.  In Romans 10:10 NIV tells us, “For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and you are saved.”  And once you are saved you will spend eternity in heaven with Jesus and with your family and friends that were saved before they passed.  Can you imagine the reunions that await us in heaven? 

Jesus loves us so much that He carried all of that sin, even when He led a sinless life.  Oh how He loves us!!!  Just like the song tells us so many times.  Listen to the song and meditate on the words and His love for you!!!!

Happy Easter to you!!!  Love to each and every one of you as you celebrate Jesus!!!

Happy Thanksgiving 2020

It's Thanksgiving 2020 and we still find ourselves in the middle of the Covid-19 pandemic. This time last year I would have never thought we would be dealing with such a devastating virus. Our world has seen death, sickness, layoffs, lost jobs, loneliness, and so many "normals" that seem like distant memories. With all of this going on it's hard to be thankful, it's hard to count our blessings. But it's very important to sit and focus on all of the blessings that we still have surrounding us. We must focus on our families, jobs that we still hold, new members to our family, any blessing that crosses your mind.

We must also remember this is a season, and as with any season, it will eventually pass. If you have not attended a Griefshare program, I strongly encourage you to seek out a class that will start after the holidays. In one of the sessions of Griefshare, Dr. Stephen Viars says this, "There is a difference between thinking this is a bad chapter and this is the last chapter." Yes, this is a bad chapter and yes this pandemic has again shown us as widows that we are without our husbands; as if we needed another reminder. But it is just that: another chapter in our journey of widowhood. So many are feeling the loneliness that we experience every day.  Jesus, who was not caught off guard by this affliction, lets us know that we are never alone.  He tells us in John 16:32-33 NIV, "A time is coming and in fact has come when you will be scattered, each to your own home (sound familiar).  You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me.  I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."  We have that promise to stand firm in that Jesus has won the war, we are just finishing up the battles to get to the victory tour!!!

As we go through this Thanksgiving and the rest of this year, focus on being thankful. A thankful heart cannot be downcast.  Focus on what God has done for you, the blessings that you have been gifted.  Paul tells us in 1 Thessalonians 5:16 NIV, "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."  Always thank God and give Him the glory with everything!! When we are connected to Him anything is possible. Apart from Him and we are like dead fruit hanging off of a dried up branch.  John 15:5 NIV states, "I am the vine, you are the branches.  If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me, you can do nothing."  We must stay connected to His word, focus on His teachings, read Christian devotionals, listen to worship music.  Look at his beautiful artwork of sunrises and/or sunsets.  All the while thank Him for each moment, whether those moments are good or bad.  Praise Him all the same.  In Psalm 100:4-5 we read, "Enter his gate with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.  For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations."  

I am so thankful for the cross.  The cross symbolizes death but also is a symbol for renewal.  Christ died on the cross to give us a new life through Him, an eternal life.  He took every sin upon Himself and nailed it all to the cross.  Jesus shed His blood for all of us. He gave us the best gift, He laid down His life so we can have eternal life.  From another Griefshare session, Dr. Paul David Tripp says something that really struck me.  He said that the cross shows good things can come from bad things. The cross is where we take our burdens and troubles, anxiety, depression, dependence on any substance, our earthly idols, anything that takes the place of Jesus and we lay them down at the cross.  Jesus was nailed to that cross and He sacrificed Himself there.  By doing that, He wiped away all sin and the sting of death.  Yes, we must ask for forgiveness and confess with our mouth and believe in our hearts that He is our Savior.  When we do this, we accept His gift of salvation and an eternal life in heaven.  Colossians 2:13-15 NIV tells us, "When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ.  He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross."  The penalty of sin died with Christ on the cross. And for that we should all be so thankful!! We are so thankful for Christ sacrifice and His gift to us of eternal life with Him.  Psalm 9:1 NIV says, "I will gives thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds." 

I am so grateful for Jesus, our Lord and Savior.  I am so thankful that God has brought us this far into 2020.  I know God is still right there with us, holding us as we walk the path of widowhood and this crazy path of 2020.  I am thankful that Jesus choose to lay His life down for us!!  Focus on the blessings and the good moments that inspire us to keep moving forward.  God has won the war, we are just fighting next to Him in these battles.  God will bring us through!!  For that I am so very thankful!!

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your families.  Stay safe and well!!  Love to you all!!

Living Hope

Romans 5:8 NIV "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

What a strange Easter celebration we find ourselves in for 2020.  We are all having to find different ways to celebrate and to attend church services.  Whether your church does live stream or you meet over zoom, we have to be creative in how we worship with our church family.  Some churches are having their parishioners come to their parking lot and while you are in the safety of your vehicle, they are broadcasting the service over radio.  If your church does not offer any of these options, there are always incredible messages on YouTube by famous Christian authors or pastors.  Whatever you decide, I encourage you to attend some sort of service

So I want to talk about HOPE.  Hope is what all of us are searching for to help us cope with our new "normal".  I make sure that I spend time every day in God's word and read devotions.  I watch videos that are uplifting and encouraging from Christian authors and people that I know personally that are posting video blogs.  I try to keep my focus on God and what His word tells us.  Romans 15:13 NIV says, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." 

Easter comes at a perfect time this year.  Easter gives us hope that is immeasurable.  We only have to look at the cross and how it defeated the empty tomb to know the hope that we are given by Jesus.  Our Savior died on the cross for us and rose again three days later; leaving that cold tomb and giving us living HOPE!!!  

Two women had an incredible encounter that first Easter morning; Mary and Mary Magdelene.  These two women had gathered spices and set  off to go to the tomb that housed Jesus's body.  Once they got there, they seen that the stone had been rolled away from the entrance.  An angel appeared to them and they had this conversation that we read in Matthew 28:5 NIV.  We read "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified.  He is not here; He has RISEN, just as He said.  Come and see the place where He lay. Then go quickly to tell His disciples.  He has RISEN from the dead and is going ahead of you  into Galilee.  There you will see Him.  Now I have told you."  Wow could you imagine being these two women!!  What an incredible encounter!!

On Easter, we celebrate that empty tomb.  We celebrate that empty tomb not just for Easter, but everyday.  Jesus didn't lay down His life for our sins just for us to celebrate Easter weekend. We need to focus on this hope that Jesus gives us.  We need to celebrate and be thankful for Christ.  Not just this weekend, but every day!!  Ohhh I know how hard being thankful is right now.  But sisters, friends, we have to focus on having a thankful heart.  Be thankful that Jesus laid down His life for us and rose three days later.  John 15:13 NIV states, "Greater love has no one than this, to lay down ones life for ones friends."  Christ blood on that cross covers our sin.  Jesus gave us the ultimate gift, all we have to do is accept.

Christ gave it all, we only have to ask for the gift.  Romans 10:9-11 NIV tells us, "If you declare with your mouth, Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.  For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved." 

As you can see, even in hard, dark days that we find ourselves in, there is always great hope.  Jesus is our hope.  He is bigger than any disease, virus, diagnosis, grief, relationship issues, any circumstance you find yourself in.  HE IS BIGGER THAN ANYTHING OR ANYONE!!    Christ is Hope!!  We have Hope in Christ!!  We just need to focus on Him and build our foundation of Hope on Him!!

1 Peter 1:3-4 NIV says, "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!!  In His great mercy He has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead and into an inheritance that can never parish, spoil or fade."  Wow!!  What an amazing promise!  God's word and truth give us great hope!!  Please focus on His truth, our living hope. Trust in His will and plans for you and for this world. 

If you do not know Jesus as your Savior and you would like to talk with someone, please never hesitate to reach out to me.  You can reach out to someone that you trust that knows Jesus's heart and they display His love and grace. 

Have a wonderful Easter celebration and focus on our Living Hope!!  He is an ever present Savior!! 

Love and God Bless!!

Angela

Hello everyone!!!  Wow I hadn't realized that it's been over a year since I have blogged on this site.  Time gets away from me, and I am sure from you too and before you know it, a year has slipped past.

I wanted to write a bit about obedience and how important it is to be open to God's presence.  I know that the word "obedience" is sometimes a hard word for many of us.  It's in our human nature to rebel against authority.  Sometimes our rebellion is good when we stand for what we believe in.  With God, I feel when we disobey we lose out on blessings He has in store for us.

When God lays something on your heart and you do not obey/follow through with His commands you will miss out on blessings that He has for you.  Deuteronomy 28 1-2 NIV, "If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully follow all His commands I give you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all nations on earth. All these blessings will come on you and accompany you if you obey the Lord your God." 

I want to use my example of obeying God.  God laid on my heart about four years ago to give new widows and their children bags that contain books, journals, and information on where they can turn for Christian support for their grief.  I kept putting God off because I didn't know how to bridge the gap between me and the new widows.  God kept nudging me to make these bags and work on the logistics side.  I finally obeyed God and after a couple of meetings I was directed to meet with Ann from Peace Restored. In March of 2017 Ann and I met and struck up a friendship.  Through our new found friendship we were able to set God's plan into motion to reach out to new widows and their children to offer them support, love, and prayers.  Following God's commands, I have been blessed with not only a lifetime friend, but I am also involved in a beautiful women's ministry that not only serves widows, but women that are in all types of life circumstances.  And the biggest blessing of all, having a widow's group that is now some of my closest friends and sisters.  I had a hard time finding a widow's group that I connected with so God blessed me with my own group.  They are such a blessing to me and they fill my heart.  If I had not obeyed God's plan and will, I would not have met so many incredible women.  We have been on two retreats that have refreshed me and made it possible to reconnect with God. 

I wanted to give you one of my examples because when you feel that nudge from God, obey Him.  There are so many blessings waiting in that obedience.  I know when we hear that word, we think of it in a negative light.  We need to flip that thinking to positive thoughts.  Psalms 128:1-2 NIV says, "Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in obedience to Him.  You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours."  Sit and think about the times that you did not obey God and what blessings you might have missed out on.

I also want to touch on a tough day some of us are experiencing today.  Whether you are a basketball fan or not, the news of Kobe Bryant's sudden death hits hard for so many of us.  Finding out his daughter was with him in the helicopter just broke my heart.  I know personally for me, my heart is shattered for his wife and the rest of his family, his friends, and his fans.  The sudden nature of his death takes me back to Kirk's death and it brings back so many emotions.  Just knowing how Vanessa is feeling right now is hard to bear.  Knowing the depth of their sorrow that they are experiencing at this very moment brings up sorrow within my heart.  God gave us the power and blessing of empathy and I think we all can connect with so many experiencing extreme grief tonight.  Let's lift everyone up in prayer and ask God to comfort and sustain all of those that are grieving. 

I am thankful for a Savior that knows grief first hand.  When Jesus's friend Lazarus had died, Jesus went to his house and was encountered by his sisters, Mary and Martha.  Mary was told Jesus had made the journey to see them.  John 11:32-36 NIV tells us, "When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at His feet and said, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died."  When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.  "Where have you laid him?" He asked.  "Come and see, Lord," they replied.  JESUS WEPT.  Then the Jews said, "See how He loved him!"  Jesus showed us that He even grieves.  He grieves with us, He knows the deep pain and sorrow that comes with extreme grief.  Rest in that tonight as you reflect on the past week and the week to come.  Jesus loves each of us and He is here in our present. 

I pray for each of you as you move along this week in whatever you have planned.  Please keep each other in your prayers and for those we have not met in person, grief does not discriminate and it does not care if you are rich or poor. 

God bless each of you and keep you in His care!!!  Love you all!!!

Thanksgiving 2018

I can't believe it's time for another Thanksgiving holiday.  I can tell you it feels like this year has flown by.  I guess it's true what they say, the older you get the faster time flies!!

 It's been seven years and five months since Kirk passed away.  This will be our eighth Thanksgiving without him.  As I sit here enjoying the smell of freshly baked pies and bread, it's just another reminder of another holiday without him.  He always enjoyed my pumpkin bread and pies that I make every year.  I wish I would have told him every day how thankful I was for him.  It's too late to tell him so I have decided on this Thanksgiving Eve to tell every one that I love and care for just how much I love and appreciate them.

I am so thankful for all my family and friends that were there for me and Emily during our darkest hours.  There are no words to describe how thankful we are for your love, support, and prayers that we have received over the past seven years.  There were days I didn't think I was going to make it one more second and then I would get a simple text that would say, "I love you".  It's amazing how those three simple one syllable words can fill your heart with love and encouragement.  I am so thankful and grateful for each and every one of you!! Your love, support, compassion, and most importantly your prayers mean more than you will ever know!!

I am so thankful for Emily.  She inspires me to continue on and to enjoy life to the fullest.  She inherited the best qualities of me and Kirk.  She is an amazing young lady that is so vibrant and compassionate.  I am so thankful that Kirk and I were able to experience being parents.  God truly blessed us when we sure didn't deserve it.  I am grateful for the nine years that we got to share raising a beautiful little girl.  I am thankful God blessed me with a man like Kirk and we were blessed as parents.

Most of all, I am thankful for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  Without Jesus, I wouldn't have all the other blessings.  Without His love for me, I wouldn't be able to love so many people that have touched my life.  God blessed us with the greatest gift of all, Jesus.  In 2 Corinthians 9:15 NIV we read, "Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!"  That Gift is Jesus.  I am so thankful that Jesus came down to earth as a human man and sacrificed His life for us.  There is no better blessing than the grace and love He showed us when He was nailed to that cross.  His blood covers us, covers our sins so that we can be  reconciled with our Heavenly Father when our time on Earth is complete.  If you believe that Jesus is your Savior, then death is not the end for you. 1 Corinthians 15:55-57 NIV tells us, "Where, O death, is your victory? Where O death, is your sting? The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law.  But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."  I am so incredibly thankful for Jesus!!  Jesus is the reason I get up every morning and face another day as a widow and single mother.  Jesus is the reason I write to all of you.  I just want to spread the word about how wonderful and beautiful Jesus is to me.  Without Him, I don't know how far I would be in this journey that was unexpected and unwanted.

I know it's hard to be thankful in your darkest hours.  I have been there and know that deep heart pain.  I just ask that you take a minute and count a couple of your blessings that you are thankful for.  I promise that once you count one or two, tomorrow you might be able to add a couple more.  Day by day the counting and praising will get easier.  We find in 1 Thessalonians 5:18 NIV, "give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

Lord I pray that anyone reading this and is having a hard time this holiday will just cry out to you for comfort and healing. Lord I pray that they will find someone or something to be thankful for and they will start to count their blessings.  Lord I know there are so many hurting this Thanksgiving and I pray that you cover them in Your love and grace and surround them with loving and compassionate people that will reach out and love on them.  Thank you Lord for loving and blessing me even when I don't deserve it.  In Your Precious Name..Amen!!