He is Risen!!

"He is not here; He has risen, just as He said.  Come and see the place where He lay." Matthew 28:6 NIV

He is Risen!!!  Wow the most important three words that have ever been said. These three words fulfilled Jesus's promise to all mankind.  These three words gives me hope and faith in that I will one day join Jesus and be raised from the dead. 

Without hope, what do I have?  I know in the first year or so after Kirk's sudden passing, hope was not on my radar.  I would attend church, sing praises to my Savior, and basically go through the motions of my every day life.  But my hope tank was running low.  How can I go on without Kirk?  How can I can raise my daughter by myself?  Does Jesus even hear my prayers and cries for His help and hope? 

Finally, I had to find hope through my Savior.  I had to find hope that only my Jesus can give me.  I didn't have to look far for you see, I wear a cross necklace every day. It's a beautiful diamond cross that was a precious gift from Kirk.  This cross dangles right next to my heart.  The cross is where we can find hope of life and resurrection.  The cross symbolizes unconditional all consuming love, everlasting hope, and bountiful joy.  1 Corinthians 1:18 NIV states, "For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God."   Jesus had to endure the cross to give us freedom from our sins.

 He took our sins, paid our debt, and poured His blood out for us!!! 

I had to go to the cross and nail my doubt and feelings of hopelessness to His cross.  The best part, He wants me to do that, He encourages me to do that every day!!  I won't lie to you, it's an every day struggle.  AND I HAVE TO BE WILLING TO DO THIS!!!  I have to submit every day to His will and have Hope that His plans are far better than anything I can imagine. 

All I have to do is look to the cross!!  I know the cross was used as a method of death, a horrible instrument of torturous death.  But it also represents hope that death has been overcome!! Jesus overcame the cross and the grave and was raised from the dead!!!  HOPE!!  Hope of a better tomorrow; hope of an eternal life in Heaven with Jesus.  Hope and faith that we will see our beloved husbands one day soon!!  What a glorious reunion that will be!! 

The Cross was Enough!! 

"Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord." Psalm 31:24 NIV

Lord, thank you for Good Friday and Easter Sunday.  Without those two days, there would be no hope for any of us.  Because of your sacrifice, I can live again.  I pray that the ones that do not know or understand the meaning of the cross will call out and seek you Lord.  Only You can fill the hole in our hearts and give us hope!!!  My hope comes from You and that is all I need!! In Your Precious Name I pray, Amen!!

My Path

"In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths" Proverbs 3:6 KJV

My Path

When I sit down to write my blogs and I talk about my widow path or journey, I imagine my path looks something similar to this above picture.  Well, part of my path anyway.  What a beautiful, serene picture.  I love the fall, it's my favorite season.  The colors and cool weather work perfectly together.  If only my path looked like this all the time.  Unfortunately my path, if it could be drawn out, would look like a chaotic mess that could not be put back into a straight line. 

My path isn't like yours; no two paths are alike.  My path has taken me to places that I didn't know existed.  I wish these places didn't exist.  I learned very fast that I had to choose wisely in how I handled every part of this journey; but most importantly I had to choose wisely the One person that needed to lead me by my right hand.  Psalm 139:10 NIV, "even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."

This path has led me in total and utter darkness.  There are times I can't see my hand in front of my face.  In the darkness, the silence and loneliness is devastating.  I cry and pray for help and continue moving forward because I know this light gives hope and encouragement.  I will say that this part of my path repeats itself and without warning.  The key here is to keep moving because at some point you will see the light again.  In 2 Samuel 22:29 NIV we are told, "You, Lord, are my lamp; the Lord turns my darkness into light."  Jesus is the light and He will light my path out of the darkness every single time.

I have walked into fire that has threatened to consume me.  Fire on this path can be quite dangerous; for you see, I compare fire on this path to anger.  Anger will consume every part of you, most importantly your heart.  Proverbs 4:23 NIV tells us, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."  When you let anger and bitterness overtake your heart, that decision will affect every other part of your life.  Your path will not only head back into the darkness, it will also lead you away from your loved ones and Jesus.  My path went through this fire.  I could not run or hide from this part of the path; however I kept Jesus right by my side.  He helped me guard my heart and kept moving forward. 

I have also encountered mud and muck along my path.  This nasty quick sand of the journey threatened to devour and leave me stranded.  Have you ever seen a movie where the actor/actress comes across quick sand that was hidden?  They start to slowly disappear into the earth and the more they struggle, the quicker they descend.  This is what I refer to as self pity quick sand pit. Let me tell you that I have been in that trap.  I have self proclaimed pity parties where I don't want to keep moving.  When this happens to me, I call out to Jesus and ask him to spare me and I put out my hand for help.  There is nothing in that pit for me. There is no life, joy, or hope there;  no future, no love, no faith, just me and my mistrust.  Psalm 40:2 NIV states, "He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand."  Once I am back on that firm ground, I am able to keep moving forward and seek Him.  He is the only one that can save me from this pit, a pit that I create.  Jesus DOES NOT create these pits, we design our own.

My path has crossed other's paths.  I have met incredible widows that are on their own paths.  Our lives share many of the same characteristics and situations, but each one of our paths are different.  I have had the honor and pleasure of meeting so many other widows; some have children around the same age of my daughter Emily.  Sharing the details of our paths helps with healing and understanding.  I have met new friends that may be on a different but difficult path in their own right.  These new friends have helped me to keep moving forward.  Meeting new people that breathe encouragement and hope into my life gives me flickers of light and joy.  My heart swells with gratitude and thanksgiving toward my Lord Jesus Christ.  " I will praise God's name in song and glorify Him with thanksgiving." Psalm 69:30 NIV. 

Thanking God along this path helps to fill my heart with peace, joy and hope.  Along this path, I must look for His light.  Without having Jesus with me on this path, I would still be stuck back in the dark, allowing the flames of anger to overtake me.  Anger will only lead me to that pit and I could be down for the count.  NO HOPE!!  Without hope, I cannot see a future, I cannot see the light.  I have to rely on Jesus every second on this path.  He is the most important part of this journey.  He is right there with me because before I was born, He knew my path.  But in Psalm 118:105 NIV I read, "Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path."  THAT'S RIGHT!!  HE is the light of my path.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring.  I am not promised tomorrow; and we all know that is true.  I am uncertain what my future will entail.  Only Jesus knows that.  All I can do is submit to His will for me, stay in contact with Him by reading His Word and praying, and reaching back to help others that need me.  One thing I do know for certain is that He is with me until the end.  He will never leave me alone on my path; and for that I am very thankful.

Lord, thank you for not leaving me alone on this path.  I would have never chosen this path for myself or for Emily.  But I do know that You are faithful and will never leave us alone.  Please Lord bless all of my family and friends that are on a similar journey.  I pray that they call out to you Lord.  This path is steep at times and then can turn into a downward spiral.  I pray that we never let go of Your hand and we seek Your light always.  In Your Precious Name I pray Amen!!

Gift From God!!

GIFT FROM GOD!!!

Gifts!!  We all love getting and giving them.  I know that I love to give gifts, and receiving one every now and then is fun!!  How do you feel about gifts?  Are you one that loves to get them, or find more pleasure in giving? 

Gifts can come in many different forms.  We can receive material gifts during our birthdays and Christmas, or whatever holiday you celebrate.  Do you have a favorite gift that you have received from a family member or friend?  I think my favorite gift that I have ever received is a diamond cross necklace that Kirk bought me for Christmas several years ago.  I wear it every day and it not only reminds me of his love for me, but also the love my Savior showered over me on that cross.  Did your husband buy you something that you treasure?

Another gift is the love from my family, and my love for my family.  Unconditional love is a true gift from God.  Knowing that whatever happens between me and my family, they will always love and support me in whatever choices I make.  Having that love and support from them gives me courage to test new areas of my life.  No matter how long it has been since we have seen each other, or how far apart our lives takes us, I always know that they will be there no matter what. And I feel that way about each and every one of them. I love each and every one of you beyond words.

The friendships that have blessed me beyond measure are true gifts from God.  I can tell you that I could have not gotten through these last five years without their love and support.  I have so many friends that I have had for years, and I have made so many new friends on this journey.  I have had the honor of meeting and communicating with so many new widow sisters.  You all have truly blessed me and have given me encouragement to keep moving forward.  I have also made new friends that have lifted me up with words, actions, and prayers.  I just want all of you to know that you have blessed me more than I could ever bless you!!

But the best gift of all is the fulfillment of God's promise to us through His Son, Jesus Christ.  Through Jesus, we have the gift of eternal life.  Romans 6:23 tells us, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Chris Jesus our Lord."  Through Jesus, His death on the cross gave us the gift of salvation and grace.  He showed us how much He loves us by pouring out His sacred blood.  His blood washes away our sins, all we have to do is confess with our mouths and believe in our hearts. In Romans 10:9 NIV it states, "If you declare with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord', and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved."  The greatest gift of all is the gift of Jesus Christ.  This gift is free to each and every one of us.  Jesus paid our sin debt, Jesus paid it all.  The greatest gift of all is the love Jesus has for all of us!!

A song I love to sing is called "Jesus Paid it All" written by Elvina Hall.  Here are some of the lyrics.

Jesus paid it all 
All to Him I owe
Sin had left a crimson stain
He washed it white as snow

He did wash our sins white as snow.  Will you accept His free Gift?  I can tell you that without His love and gifts, I could not be on the right path of my widowhood journey.  He keeps me moving forward, He keeps my eyes fixed on eternity.  He loves me in my muck and nasty mess called my life.  He loves me when I cry and call out to Him.  He loves me with I laugh and enjoy life with my family and friends.  He blesses me in every moment and every situation.  He even blesses me so I can have special memories and moments that my heart needs.  Will you allow yourself to enjoy all the gifts God gives you?  Cherish the gifts from your family and friends and treat yourself to material gifts every once in awhile too.  We all deserve to be spoiled every now and again.

Lord Jesus, thank You for Your gift of eternal life.  Thank you for shedding Your blood for our salvation and showing us grace when we do not deserve it.  I pray that whomever has not accepted Your free gift of salvation will do so before it's too late.  Lord I pray for those of us that have accepted you, but may have strayed off of Your path.  Thank you Lord for all of the gifts you shower on us every single day, minute, and second.  Without You, I am nothing.  With You, I am loved and forgiven.  In Your Precious Name I pray, Amen!!

Extraordinary Life Part II

Happy Beautuful Sunday afternoon!!

As I sit here waiting for my daughter to be done with soccer practice, I continue thinking about trying to live an extraordinary life. I have thought of what this means for me personally. 

I know to live an extraordinary life I must trust and obey Gods commands. I must follow what He sets before me and act on issues that He lays on my heart. I must listen to His voice and and make Him a priority in my life. I know to keep close to Him I must read His words and surround myself with others that will not only point me toward Him but also hold me accountable when I do not. Putting Him above all else and trusting Him with every single area of my life will result in a life filled with peace and hope. We must lay our burdens at the cross and allow and trust He will work all things for our good. He promises this throughout the Bible. 

Another area to help with living an extraordinary life is to pray without ceasing. I have a dialogue all day with Jesus. I tell Him when I fail or need help. I'll ask Him to forgive or tell Him what I feel I need. When I get down or feel like I'm losing hope, I ask Him to feel me up with His Spirit. Knowing when and what type of prayers you need personally is showing Him that you trust and know He is with us at all times. 

Love unconditionally and let the people in your life know how much you love, care, and need them. After Kirk passed away I had so many regrets of not telling him how much I loved and appreciated him for always being there and taking care of his family. Now I am trying to let my family and friends know how I feel. Life is fleeting and situations happen in a blink of an eye and then that moment is gone. So forgive and love deeply those that you hold near and dear to your heart. Love and forgive as Jesus did for us on that cross. Love unconditionally and I promise that love and forgiveness will be returned to you.  We are just a vapor in time and once your time is over how do you want you family and friends to remember about you? 

I'm not perfect, not even close. But I do know that living an extraordinary life can only be done through my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  He wants us to have an abundance of love and joy and hope. My life isn't easy but others have life so much harder than me. I choose to stay close to my Lord and tap into His unfailing and unwavering love and acceptance. I let Him direct my path because I know I will find love, peace, hope, joy, and sometimes failure and defeat. But in every situation and moment I choose to praise and worship His Holy Name.  He will lead me to eternal life in heaven and that will be my reward for living an extraordinary life on Earth. 

I hope you all have a blessed Sunday and the best week so far in this new year. Go out and make it incredible and remember to bless and love one another!! 

Extradorinay Life

I REFUSE TO LIVE AN ORDINARY LIFE!!!

While Emily and I were eating lunch with my mom today, I overheard this lyric in a song playing over the intercom.  I can't remember any other part of the song other than these words, I refuse to live an ordinary life. These words really stuck with me.  I have thought all day what these words mean to me personally.  The one question that I have asked myself is this: What does an extraordinary life look like to me?

Do I feel like an extraordinary life means to live a life collecting material objects?  Do  I feel like I can only live an extraordinary life by how the world views me?  Does this mean that I must strive to have a high paying job and compete for big raises and bonuses?  Should I have the right home in the right neighborhood that is the envy of my family and friends?  Does this vision also include the best and most expensive vehicles with all the bells and whistles?  Must my child attend the best and most impressive school/college?  After I ran the good race, would I feel like that I led an extraordinary life?  Or would I feel like I still missed the mark and something was still missing from my heart?

So as I sat and asked myself these questions, I found that my heart kept returning to Jesus and envisioning what He thinks is an extraordinary life.  Jesus first told us that love is the most important trait to have.  1 Corinthians 13:13 NIV says, "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.  But the greatest of these is love."  We know that God is love because He tells us throughout the Bible how much He loves us.  We read in 1 John 4:16 NIV, "And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.  God is love.  Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them." 

 I started thinking that having compassion for others is another way to live an extraordinary life.  Being on this path of widowhood, I have found that my heart is open to pour out compassion for others that are hurting.  Part of the healing process is to reach back and encourage others that are behind you on this journey.  God shows and tells us to have compassion as He has on His children.  Psalm 116:5 NIV tells us, "The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion.  Having a heart that pours compassion on hurting family and friends not only blesses the recipients, this action will also bless you.  Compassion opens your heart to allow love to flood and wash over you. 

Trusting God's will to guide you in good and bad times will definitely lead you to live an extraordinary life.  Every day I practice trusting God's vision and path for my life.  I find that surrendering to His will and trusting Him to work everything out in my life feels me up with joy and hope.  The best gift I can give myself is trusting Him with my journey.  Trusting Him in the good and bad times is what God wants us to do.  "In You, Lord my God, I put my trust." Psalm 25:1 NIV.  "When I am afraid, I put my trust in you." Psalm 56:3 NIV.  I have found that trusting God is an every day struggle because it's our human nature to try and control every facet of our lives.  I have found that when I trust Him with my path, He always sets my feet in the right direction. 

I feel that living an extraordinary life has nothing to do at all with what the world views as being "successful".  I think living an extraordinary life is measured by how much you love others, how you shower compassion on your fellow human beings, and trusting God's will for your life.  When you allow God to shine through your life, you are drawing others toward God's light.  Matthew 5:16 NIV states, "In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."  I refuse to live an ordinary life because I want God's light to shine through me and lead others to the salvation and grace that only God can give.  Leading non believers to God's love, compassion, and showing them what trusting God looks like is leading an extraordinary life.  Showing others that you are not just talking the talk, you are also walking the walk will hopefully lead them to sharing God's favors.  Imagine what this world would look like if we were all leading extraordinary lives and refusing to be ordinary. 

Lord, please help and direct me to lead an extraordinary life that reflects Your love and compassion.  Please help me every day to put my trust in You and only You because Your love never fails, it never disappoints, never abandons.  I pray that I become more Christ like each day so others can see You through me.  Thank you Lord for the trials and tribulations in my life because without them, I cannot glorify You through my good and bad times.  I pray that I draw others to want to know You and seek salvation.  Lord You are THE WAY, THE TRUTH, and The LIFE and I pray others will accept and surrender to You.  Thank you Lord for all You do for me.  In Your Precious Name I Pray..Amen!!

Jesus over worries!!

Don't worry about anything; instead , pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.  Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.  His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7 NLT

WORRY!

We all do it; every single one of us.  There is a lot in this world to keep us up at night.  We have so much going on in our daily lives and there never seems to be enough time in the day.  I know I worry about issues that I know I shouldn't.  I worry about my daughter Emily, my family and friends, my house, my vehicle, my finances.  You name it and I sure can find time to worry about it.  Oh and let's add time to that list; there is never enough time to check everything off on the lists we make for ourselves or time to spend with each other.

I love this verse because God is telling us exactly how to handle that anxiety and stress.  He wants us to bring our worries and issues to Him through prayer.  As we tell Him what we need, in that same breath we are to thank Him for the blessings that He has given us.  I know this sounds strange, but when I have sat and started thanking Him for my blessings, I have found just how much I have to be thankful for.  The idea here is to see that your list of thanksgiving will be longer than the issues that you need to worry about.  I have felt the wash of thanksgiving come over me and I have felt that peace that only Christ Jesus can give me.

When we lay our issues at the cross, Jesus gives us peace that only He can give.  Peace and rest for the soul only comes from Jesus.  Nothing in this world will give you peace, true peace.  Worrying and stressing zaps the energy that can be used to pray and talk with Jesus.  That energy can be used to praise and thank Jesus for all that He has done.  Jesus tells us in John 16:33 NIV, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart! I have over come the world." 

Whatever is troubling you, take it to Jesus tonight.  Tell Him the hurts of your heart, and what your heart is thankful for.  He will give you rest and peace.  I know that if I hadn't practice this after Kirk's passing, I would still be in a heap on my floor, not moving forward or finding joy in my life.  Jesus lifted me up and put me on my path of healing.  He will do the same for you, all you have to do is ask Him.

Lord, I pray that those of us that need rest and peace will bring their worries to you.  I pray that they find peace in Your presence and find it easy to start thanking You for the many blessings You pour over us every day.  Lord thank You for loving me!!  In Your precious name I pray Amen!!