Victory!!

"But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."  1 Corinthians 15:57

Did you know there is a condition out there for us widows that is called "Widow Brain"?  This condition affects our memory and our thinking.  I know it has taken me a long time to get through the fog of widow brain and be able to remember anything from simple daily routines to big events and special occasions.  I have had problems with finding keys, paperwork, and items in my purse.  You name it, I've forgotten about it or can't find it!!  I get frustrated with myself and others have been frustrated at me.  But I know at some point I will find the item or a sweet soul will kindly remind me of something I have missed or forgotten.  One thing to remember is that with widows, forgetting a special day or losing a special object is not on purpose so please never take it personal.  It's just our widow brain condition.

But one day when I least expected, the fog started to lift and I was able to feel almost "back to normal".  Memories would be more accessible and I started feeling good about remembering special events and days for my family and friends.  I started feeling good about making others feel special; feeling good to help and care for others.

Then one day last week I had a small victory.  It was an euphoric feeling of being able to work through a memory and finding an important badge that Emily needed for school. 

I had bought her a yearly sports pass for all events.  Her school put this on her ID badge so as she walks into a sporting event, they just have to scan the bar code on her badge.  At our first home football game, her badge did not work.  The lady let her enter the game and told her to take the badge and have it fixed by the athletic assistant.  Emily had put her badge in her small purse and then put that in my big purse.  The next day, she had a soccer game three hours away.  I remember seeing the small purse in mine but then after that I lost track. 

Jump to two weeks later, we were getting ready for homecoming and I asked Emily if she got her pass fixed.  She then replied as most teenagers do, "I can't find my badge."  Ugh!!  Why is this always the answer?  I then reminded her that homecoming was the next evening and that her badge needed to be working and told her to find it, and then take it to school.  So, she proceeds to "look" for it and it was no where to be found; then she gave up.  So after I was finished with my chores, I stood in my kitchen to think. My kitchen is my lair where a lot of good ideas come to me.  I pondered on the last couple of weeks and I flashed back to the soccer game.  I knew I had it in my vehicle.  I remembered she rode home with me and my mom. 

And then.....

My mind processed that she had a small bag that she took some items with her for the long school bus ride to her game.  Where did she put that bag? (Then I chuckled because she didn't put that bag away, I did.)  Wait, my mind rejoiced, that bag normally hangs in her closet. 

I ran in her room, opened her closet door and there was the bag.  I excitedly reached into that small bag and there it was, her badge!!!  I had just stood and processed the last two weeks of events and solved the mystery!!!

 It was a big victory for me and my widow brain!!  I processed and worked through a situation on my own!  It was a sweet couple of moments.

Doesn't it feel good to celebrate a small to big victory?  The moment that just feels good, even if it's your own personal victory.  Another victory we can celebrate is Jesus.

Jesus scored the biggest victory we have ever known by defeating the grave.  Jesus was beat, tortured, and nailed to a cross.  He took that punishment so we can have victory in His resurrection.  His victory over the cross gave mankind victory over death.  1 Corinthians 15:55-57 NIV states, "Where, O death, is your victory?  Where, O death, is your sting?  The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law.  But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ". 

With this victory, Jesus is our prize.  Jesus took the nails to free us from sin and death.  That victory Jesus won gets to be celebrated by every single one of us that accepts this gift.  Jesus loving us that much to sacrifice Himself for our benefit is the sweetest victory of all!!  My small victory is pale in comparison to Jesus's biggest victory in history!!

Jesus, thank you for Your Victory.  Your victory becomes our victory for the ones that choose to celebrate with you.  I pray that those of us that are not partaking in that victory will do so today.  The most important victory of mankind can be celebrated by all of us.  Father I pray those who have not accepted Your Precious Gift will do so today.  In Your Precious Name I Pray Amen!!

Encourage

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and he helps me.  My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise Him."  Psalm 28:7 NIV

It's Labor Day weekend!!  Can you believe it?  Where did the summer go?  Schools already back in session and the leaves are starting to dry and fall away from the trees.  Our apple orchards here in Indiana are starting to sell all of their delicious apples.  It's a big fall tradition for many of us Hoosiers to go and grab our favorite apples. 

Another tradition in Indy is drag racings crown jewel, US Nationals.  Indianapolis is the self proclaimed "Racing Capital of the World" since we are the proud home of the Indianapolis 500, Brickyard 400, and of course The Nationals.  Labor Day was a big weekend for Kirk.  He was a huge drag racing fan.  He had helped his uncle build a dragster when he was a teenager living north of Houston, Texas.  His dream was to work for a large team, preferably a Top Alcohol dragster.  About two-three years Kirk got a chance to help a local guy that raced an alcohol funny car.  I had never seen him so happy and excited.  He would have to be at the track early in the morning and wouldn't get home until after 10 pm during race weekend.  Even though the team didn't preform as well as they wanted, he got to fulfill a dream he had harbored for several years.  As we say, he got to check that off of his bucket list.  Little did we know, he would never get a chance to help out again at the track. 

This weekend is bittersweet for me.  Kirk and I went out to the track so many times when we were dating and before we had Emily.  Once Emily was old enough, we started taking her and she fell in love with the festivities.  She got to meet John Force a couple of times, his daughters, and several of the other big name drivers.  Labor Day weekend, especially Saturday, was set aside just for us to enjoy family time and racing.  Watching the race now on tv reminds me of so many sweet memories.  The good times we shared together are priceless.  We have not been back since Kirk's passing.  We have talked about going back, but the reality is that he will not be there with us smiling from ear to ear, enjoying his favorite sport. 

I know I have not written since July.  Truth be told, I have felt like I could not find words to encourage any of you.  This fifth year has really caught me off guard.  I have felt as though I can't muster enough in me to keep me moving; so how can I encourage others.  And one thing I have learnt is that God never changes; He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. It's me that has moved but I don't know what has changed.  I can only sit and read my Bible and find God's message to me.  I came across the Bible verse above and it spoke to me.  "The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and He helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise Him." Psalm 28:7 NIV   My song is my life and I will praise Him for all He has done for me.  He has lifted me from my darkest depths and I am forever grateful.  He knows my heart and He has never left me by myself.  Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV says, "The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

 That is what I was, discouraged!!!

This summer was really hard for me personally.  But I have HOPE and I know my Jesus is with me and He will not leave me to my own.  In that I have great HOPE and ENCOURAGEMENT.  My heart is over joyed knowing that even in the darkest moments; Jesus is right there with me.  And He is also right there for you.  He knows your path and He is there with you; loving and encouraging you.  I trust Him and hope that when you can't see His light in your darkest moments, you can cling to His truth and know that He is God and nothing is too big for Him.  Pray, trust, and cling to Him. 

Lord, I come to you on this hard weekend for us and pray that you keep encouraging us along our path.  It's hard to keep moving some days, but knowing I can whisper Your name and feel Your love and strength is a huge relief.  Father, I pray others will do this same practice so they too can feel Your love and hope.  Lord I pray that my life will serve as my song to You.  In Your Precious Name I pray..Amen

 

Our last time at the US Nationals together.