The "W" Word

"The  widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and ask God for help."  I Timothy 5:5


As I have met widows and talked with them, the one theme that comes up in conversations is how much the word "widow" is despised.  I always agree with them; the word is awful.  The word to me sounds so lonely and cold.  As a child, I had two great grandmothers that were widows.  In my mind, they were the poster women for that word.  But they fit the word widow to me, they were older and lived alone since their children were grown and had families of their own.

So how did that "W" word become a word associated with me?

I am neither as old as they were or alone in my household.  I have a child living at home with me.  I am not a "poster women" for this word.  I hate filling out forms that ask your martial status.  Checking the widow box on forms hurts my heart.  In my mind I am too young to check that box.  That "W" word brings up emotions of disgust and sadness.  Some might think it's silly for that to happen, but I say to them you must not be a widow.  Only a widow(er) would understand that knife stick in the heart.  It's neither silly or ridiculous.  It can be painful and bring up feelings of sadness.

As I think about that word and how it is attached to me, it doesn't define me, but it is associated with me: I have sat and thought about the women through history that have been widows and not let that word keep them in the shadows.  One such widow was Alexander Hamilton's widow Eliza Hamilton.  My daughter Emily is a huge history lover and she loves Hamilton The Musical.  I learned that Eliza went on to do several extraordinary things in her life after the untimely death of Alexander.  She helped found the Orphan Asylum Society which still exists today and is known as Graham Windham.  She also helped raise money for the construction of the Washington Monument that stands proudly in Washington D.C.  She lived 50 more years and never remarried.  In an article on smithsonianmag.com it says that Eliza and Alexander's son James once complimented his mother's heroic work for poor orphans, and she replied pragmatically, "My Maker has pointed out this duty to me, and has given me the skill and inclination to perform it."  Wow!!!  What a widow warrior she was!! 

I think about the poor widows that endured so much in the past.  History is full of stories of widows and how they went on to do so much good for others.  A lot of them talk about their faith in Christ and how He brought them through their darkest times.  Do you trust God in your darkest times?

I know the word widow is not fun to think about.  I know none of us want that word attached to us.  But did you know that God loves us and we are special to Him?  Do you know that God loves and cares for our children?  Psalm 146:9 NIV says to us, "The Lord watches over the foreigner and sustains the fatherless and widow, but he frustrates the ways of the wicked."  He sees us and knows our hearts.  Psalm 68:4-5 NIV states, "Sing to the God, sing in praise of His name, extol Him who rides on the clouds; rejoice before Him-His name is the Lord.  A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling."   We are special to Him, please never forget that.

Even though we do not care for the word widow, God cares for us.  He sees us for so much more than that word. We are His children and He loves us beyond measure. Psalm 34:18 NIV reminds us, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."  Just know and trust that  He sees us, knows our pain, and lifts us up where we are.   Not only is God for you and fighting for you, but there are so many of us widow warriors that are fighting right beside you also; you are NEVER alone!!

God please hear our hearts when we say we do not like the word widow or like being associated with it.  God I pray for hearts to heal and for lives to be restored as we walk through some of the darkest days of our lives.  Only You Lord can heal our hearts and set us on our paths of healing.  Thank you Lord for being with us and for us.  You are a Mighty and Loving God.  In Your precious Name I pray Amen!!

Treasured Memories

"I thank my God every time I remember you." Philippians 1:3 NIV

Treasured Memories:  We all have them.  Memories that fill your heart with joy and happiness that brings a smile to your face.  Some bring sadness or maybe even anger when you reflect on past experiences.  Either way, we all have them. 

But some memories become treasures; beautiful gems that sparkle in any light.   When you lose loved ones, those memories are priceless.  Memories are something no one can take away from you.  They are yours and only yours.

Do you have precious beautiful memories of your beloved stored away?  Do you share them with others so that your husband's life is still being shared even though he was called Home?  You might not be at that point in your journey, but one day you will.  For me, it helps in sharing special moments I had with Kirk.  I love telling Emily stories about her daddy since she was younger when he passed away and she doesn't remember some of the times we shared.  She enjoys hearing about him, especially stories before she was born.

I'm going to share one with all of you tonight. 

Today, January 23rd, marks the thirtieth anniversary of our first date.  Sad to say, but yes it's been thirty years.  It seems like a different and separate life now.  I was 19, wide eyed and full of life and joy. 

We actually met in November 1987 and would talk about music.  I worked at a convenience store right by my house and he and his family had just moved into a neighborhood right across from the store. He would come in and buy pop, snacks, and rent videos.  I would cash him out and we would talk about bands.  He was an incredible guitar player and played in a band with his best friends.  I finally worked up the nerve to ask him out to a party that a friend of mine was having.  He said he would go and I was so excited.  We went with my cousin and her boyfriend and had a nice evening.  From them on, we were together all the time.  January 23, 1988 was one of the best nights I can remember.  What a treasure that memory has become.  Especially now that Kirk is gone, this memory is a precious commodity to me.

Treasures come in all forms here in this world.  Of course memories are intangible; we cannot set them out on a hearth to be admired by all who enter your house.  However, we all know worldly treasures are wealth, status, careers, and power.  We are warned about putting these treasures above Christ.  Jesus is the ONLY true treasure for our hearts, mind and soul.  We are to put Him above all others and everything of this world.  Matthew 6:19-20 NIV Jesus tells us, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal." 

Jesus wants to be the treasure of our hearts.  Matthew 6:21 NIV continues and says, "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."  If you put Christ in the center of your life and you treasure Him and His teachings, your life will overflow unto the ones that are close to you.  They will see the character of Jesus flow from your heart; they will see Jesus!!  I can't imagine any better or sweeter treasure than Christ Himself. 

I wanted to share with you what a special day this is for me. I sat and reflected how that one night turned into a wonderful and blessed marriage; and then the two of us turned into a family of three.  I thank God every day that He blessed me with Kirk and Emily.  I am so thankful that we had a blessed nine years of being a family.  I miss and love him so much.  But I know that He is waiting for us.  One day, his wait will be over!!  What a glorious day that will be!!

Lord, thank you so much for the special memories you bless us with.  I treasure them and reflect on them.  Thank you Lord for the True Treasure of our hearts, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!! What a wonderful and beautiful treasure!! It's in Your precious name I pray, Amen!