My Path

"In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths" Proverbs 3:6 KJV

My Path

When I sit down to write my blogs and I talk about my widow path or journey, I imagine my path looks something similar to this above picture.  Well, part of my path anyway.  What a beautiful, serene picture.  I love the fall, it's my favorite season.  The colors and cool weather work perfectly together.  If only my path looked like this all the time.  Unfortunately my path, if it could be drawn out, would look like a chaotic mess that could not be put back into a straight line. 

My path isn't like yours; no two paths are alike.  My path has taken me to places that I didn't know existed.  I wish these places didn't exist.  I learned very fast that I had to choose wisely in how I handled every part of this journey; but most importantly I had to choose wisely the One person that needed to lead me by my right hand.  Psalm 139:10 NIV, "even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."

This path has led me in total and utter darkness.  There are times I can't see my hand in front of my face.  In the darkness, the silence and loneliness is devastating.  I cry and pray for help and continue moving forward because I know this light gives hope and encouragement.  I will say that this part of my path repeats itself and without warning.  The key here is to keep moving because at some point you will see the light again.  In 2 Samuel 22:29 NIV we are told, "You, Lord, are my lamp; the Lord turns my darkness into light."  Jesus is the light and He will light my path out of the darkness every single time.

I have walked into fire that has threatened to consume me.  Fire on this path can be quite dangerous; for you see, I compare fire on this path to anger.  Anger will consume every part of you, most importantly your heart.  Proverbs 4:23 NIV tells us, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."  When you let anger and bitterness overtake your heart, that decision will affect every other part of your life.  Your path will not only head back into the darkness, it will also lead you away from your loved ones and Jesus.  My path went through this fire.  I could not run or hide from this part of the path; however I kept Jesus right by my side.  He helped me guard my heart and kept moving forward. 

I have also encountered mud and muck along my path.  This nasty quick sand of the journey threatened to devour and leave me stranded.  Have you ever seen a movie where the actor/actress comes across quick sand that was hidden?  They start to slowly disappear into the earth and the more they struggle, the quicker they descend.  This is what I refer to as self pity quick sand pit. Let me tell you that I have been in that trap.  I have self proclaimed pity parties where I don't want to keep moving.  When this happens to me, I call out to Jesus and ask him to spare me and I put out my hand for help.  There is nothing in that pit for me. There is no life, joy, or hope there;  no future, no love, no faith, just me and my mistrust.  Psalm 40:2 NIV states, "He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand."  Once I am back on that firm ground, I am able to keep moving forward and seek Him.  He is the only one that can save me from this pit, a pit that I create.  Jesus DOES NOT create these pits, we design our own.

My path has crossed other's paths.  I have met incredible widows that are on their own paths.  Our lives share many of the same characteristics and situations, but each one of our paths are different.  I have had the honor and pleasure of meeting so many other widows; some have children around the same age of my daughter Emily.  Sharing the details of our paths helps with healing and understanding.  I have met new friends that may be on a different but difficult path in their own right.  These new friends have helped me to keep moving forward.  Meeting new people that breathe encouragement and hope into my life gives me flickers of light and joy.  My heart swells with gratitude and thanksgiving toward my Lord Jesus Christ.  " I will praise God's name in song and glorify Him with thanksgiving." Psalm 69:30 NIV. 

Thanking God along this path helps to fill my heart with peace, joy and hope.  Along this path, I must look for His light.  Without having Jesus with me on this path, I would still be stuck back in the dark, allowing the flames of anger to overtake me.  Anger will only lead me to that pit and I could be down for the count.  NO HOPE!!  Without hope, I cannot see a future, I cannot see the light.  I have to rely on Jesus every second on this path.  He is the most important part of this journey.  He is right there with me because before I was born, He knew my path.  But in Psalm 118:105 NIV I read, "Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path."  THAT'S RIGHT!!  HE is the light of my path.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring.  I am not promised tomorrow; and we all know that is true.  I am uncertain what my future will entail.  Only Jesus knows that.  All I can do is submit to His will for me, stay in contact with Him by reading His Word and praying, and reaching back to help others that need me.  One thing I do know for certain is that He is with me until the end.  He will never leave me alone on my path; and for that I am very thankful.

Lord, thank you for not leaving me alone on this path.  I would have never chosen this path for myself or for Emily.  But I do know that You are faithful and will never leave us alone.  Please Lord bless all of my family and friends that are on a similar journey.  I pray that they call out to you Lord.  This path is steep at times and then can turn into a downward spiral.  I pray that we never let go of Your hand and we seek Your light always.  In Your Precious Name I pray Amen!!